We know the lyrics to this song, we know the catchy chorus, but knowing the song and adequately answering the repeated question aren’t the same thing at all. 

Buy me a cup of tea, possibly add into the mix a nice traybake and we can happily gossip about the lives that we’ve led, the complexities of the universe and our respective places in it. 

But ask me to submit a pithy paragraph that would entice a person I’ve never met to ‘pick me’ and read my submission…  palpitation overload!

I am overthinking this trial. 

I know I’m putting far too much thought into it, but if this ‘narrative’ is my shop window, my chance to entice you into the emporium of Telling Tall Tales, how indeed do I sweeten the lure?

I’m a 50 something bloke.  Married, live on a farm, and I’ve had a few jobs, travelled a bit – seen some of life, cried at it too. 

I love books, music, castles, tanks and dinosaurs …  I write tall tales, I stretch credibility just enough so as not to be ridiculous. 

My tales are all compassionately told – no exploitation, no demining put downs or dismissive tropes.  I try my very best to be kind amongst all the cruelty.  I try.  I do.

My scribbles have merit.

They may need polishing – I cannot debate that.  But even in the state that I present them, they are still a journey worth taking, time worth investing, pages worth turning!

So, me, how does being me entice YOU to read my wares – the answer to that I honestly don’t know.

I am beyond naïve in my hope that a good tale will carry itself – me the writer nothing more than an anecdote after the fact – never the appetiser that takes you to the main course. 

But, if I cannot get you into my shop, if my window dressing isn’t enticing – what hope a tale well told?

I don’t know the answer, maybe while walking the dogs a flash of genius inspiration will strike me (and I’ll remember it!), or possibly I’ll hope that my submitted biography is just enough to keep my tale away from instant rejection…

We all have dreams – this is mine.

Stay safe – remain sane!