Yes, another musical reference – this time we are nodding towards those indie rascals Babyshambles!

Hey ho! 

So, despondent we indeed were. 

The shadows of self-doubt were indeed dominant.

An eclipse was in process.

I was, and I remain, more annoyed at myself for my reaction than I do towards a legitimate and polite rejection. 

We also have to remember why it is we are doing this.

This isn’t a job, this is a hobby, something we enjoy – if we lose sight of that anything and that may flow would be pointless; I already have a job that I’m not too enamored about… 

We hope that my escapism may one day become enjoyable distraction for others, but if not, then the first principle must remain true – we must be happy in our work!

[Image] A frantically typing Jack Nicholson “All work and no play etc. etc….”

So the buoy has bobbed, the post fall bounce has happened, the sulk is indeed over!

We’ve also gone back to re-write (changed the plot) of book three.  It wasn’t the coherent narrative I was after, and so back we have indeed gone and simplified and focused things – naturally we have kept all the original drafts just in case we (again) change our minds.

So, yeah, that’s it. 

Was feeling a bit ‘meah’, but we are okay now.

Anyhow, big empty auditorium, thanks for listening!

Something something flip side, something something smoke me a kipper…. 

I have in my mind that ‘the big no’ is a children’s character – and if they’re not, then they indeed should be! 

So, quickest ever rejection has been received!

Normally we wait weeks.

This one, BY RETURN!

Flip!

By coincidence I was reading a blog that said if you’ve had more than 10 rejections, maybe it’s a consensus from those that know, and probably your book just isn’t up to it.   

BUGGER!

What to do…?

Is it a reality check from the cosmos?

Is it my approach, or is it my product, or is it possibly both that fail the grade?

Nagging doubt sits on my shoulder, perseverance along with self-belief are retreating to the sanctuary of shadows…

Is this another hurdle to be jumped, or a reality check against my delusion of ever becoming commercially published? 

I’ve had rejections before – yet somehow the speed of this reply, the emphatic nature of this particular NO; this is different.

I will try not to wallow – I will try, but dam –  by return!!!

Writing is good therapy, but maybe my therapy just isn’t good commerce?

On the plus, and in all situations you must always seem the positive (no matter how small) I have achieved, I have written that mythical book that we all have inside – kudos to me.

Maybe that success should be enough.

Maybe.

Bugger.

The Big NO!

So we said we didn’t write plot lines, didn’t do story outlines, that we were some kind of anarchic write it as it comes and dam the readers kinda rebel! 

Well that may not have been the picture painted in your minds, but in mine I was indeed a wee bit of a rebel without a plotline!

And then, as with all things flimsy, it all comes crashing down to the ground… 

I haven’t finished book three, but here I am typing away like a daemon at the story that will be book four!

Three now has a new end point, a different destination from the one originally envisioned and now we need to create a suitable journey that takes us there. 

Ideas have the most spurious of beginnings, but the one for ‘Prison’ has now become a bit of a wildfire in my imagination. 

How did it begin?

An off the cuff remark about suffering not being exclusively or even predominately physical – and where and in what circumstance could we engineer such a scenario?

Answer – Prison.

Not just Prison – but a Victorian (late 1800’s) prison!  

All other projects, side or otherwise, have been placed in stasis.

This story wants to be written.

This tale needs to be told.

So, book with three I will complete a journey that needed to be taken, book four a narrative now in need of telling!   

Will Amy triumph?

Have no fear, I’m sure she will.

But as ever it will be hard won bitter and painful.