*Job opportunity exists for suitably qualified agent.
Strangers on a shore…
Not an ode to jazz, more a short ramble about crippling imposter syndrome in relation to my declared intent to publish the engaging narrative that is “Amy Grace: Payne”.
The book is written and has been so for several years.
Is it the absolute best iteration of itself – I don’t know, and that is the question that haunts me.
I know it’s a good tall tale, the story is engaging, different, and all those things that should keep the reader engaged while licking their finger and turning the page to eagerly find out what happens next.
However, is the telling up to the job?
That is the spectre that haunts my waking day.
I’ve hidden behind the cover design and text formatting; in fact, I’ve used any and every reason real and imagined to delay publishing this book.
But eventually even the most reluctant author must stand and be counted.
The naval gazing, the woe is me, the hand to forehead flouncy shirt wearing dramatics – it all must end.
If I fail spectacularly, if the reception of my work is to condemn it as toe curling cringe, then so be it, the sun will still come up on the morrow.
I quote it often, and I should live it: “It’s NOT the critic that counts…”
Print, embrace, and relish the ride.
Hug those you love, stay safe, and do your absolute best to remain sane!
Patience IS a virtue.
True.
It is.
The mind when anxious does indeed mountains out of molehills make.
A creative mind under pressure is easily turned to worry.
And we all know that worry loves company.
Yet all is indeed good, the worm tongues were wrong, panic was indeed premature.
June 2026 is our target.
We have confidence.
Amy Grace: Payne will step into the world the first day of that month.
Breath can now be bated for an altogether nobler pursuit.
The countdown clock can now tick onwards with confidence.
Amy Grace is coming; her adventures are near to being told!
Excited?
Indeed I am.
Indeed I am.
Absent friends – if only!
It is indeed true that it lingers longer than the smell of cow poo under your fingernails.
Self-doubt jockeys with joyful optimism, and it doesn’t fight fair.
For every passage of majestic prose, it happily points out that clumsy phrase, that overused trope and exhausted cliché.
Bugger.
Getting the cover to my book [Amy Grace: Paye] painted/drawn/created has taken considerably longer than anticipated – art it seems has no concept of time.
What was to be published in February, was then moved to Easter, and now sits somewhere in the broad and vague expanse of 2026/27.
Time hasn’t been idly spent.
A book I’d written, rewritten, given to Beta readers, rewritten, given to a professional editor, rewritten, is again in the very real danger of again being rewritten.
Not through need, but nerves.
The devil does indeed make tasks for idle hands…
I’m second guessing everything.
Every historic comment (real & imagined) is being overanalysed.
Every negative, no matter how oblique or trivial is now front and centre of my mind.
No art is without fault, or immune from legitimate critique, and trying to please everyone is indeed a fool’s errand.
I’ve filled my time with the Iceni rebellion, with a spy suffering amnesia, and even a few choice pages around the tales of a sorcerer’s apprentice – yet everything pulls back to the plight of a young woman in Egypt.
Amy Grace dominates.
I need to publish and be dammed.
But before I can do that, I need the much-delayed artwork.
Oh, to suffer the problems of the comfortable first world is such a weight…
Hug those you love, tell them you love them, hold them tight, stay safe, and do your absolute best to remain sane!
Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!
Running On the Spot.
It’s not a cliché, but it is a maxim that is heavily abused (probably because it is true) in that “No Plan Survives Contact” – take a bow Karl Bernhard von Moltke.
Our plan was to publish Valentines Day 2026.
We missed that.
To be fair, it was/and is better that we did.
Editing is emotive for any writer – cutting words so carefully chosen is akin to asking which child you want to sacrifice to ensure that the sun still shines and the crops continue to grow…
Okay, possibly not that hard – but hyperbole is the cornerstone of writing – so we will let that one ride.
Editing came, editing went, and editing was completed.
Next stage.
I’ve always had a cover in mind – the idea has remained a constant throughout all the plot changes, inserts, and deletions.
I had an artist in mind, I’d seen their work on the WWW, and I was sold.
Labour costs, I was (am) happy to pay.
Art is the expression of emotion, and such a thing is forever susceptible to the whims and fancies of life – point accepted (no need to concede).
My timeline has always been flexible.
Flexible, but not open-ended.
Now I sit nine weeks into the book cover phase with no real decreeable progress made.
Tommorow was the promise, but that was weeks ago.
“Nearly there” is uttered but not delivered.
I am at a complete loss.
Have I been taken for a fool – or am I just drowning in paranoia of my own making?
I don’t have the funds for a relaunch, the are no coins to start this again.
I’d cry, but I don’t know how…
Keep that Serenity Prayer in mind as life moves forward.
Hug those you love – stay sane!
Running before you can walk.
We’ve all done it.
At one stage or another we’ve all let our imagination get just that little bit carried away with itself.
Me, I’ve already decided that Peter Jackson (of Lord of the Rings fame) will direct the film adaptations of the Amy Grace adventures – why wouldn’t he?
Musically I’m torn as to who will do the soundtrack, sometimes I pick Trent Razor (Nine Inch Nails), and then I pick Florence Welch (Florence and the Machine) convinced that she’d jump at the chance to warble away… possibly a collaboration with The Pogues – why not. Flip even Fergal Sharkey makes an appearance in such runaway dreams – such are the indulgencies of an active imagination…
Oh, for the runaway fantasies of a writer whose debut novel has still yet to be published.
Natalie Merchant would be on the soundtrack – obviously.
I’ve never squared the circle of a theme tune – genre or artist. Amy needs a recognisable tune, no pressure but those who sing will need to really earn their supper!
Characters and cast – that one has never really taken off.
Amy would be the hardest to cast. She MUST be a redhead, gotta be petite and simply must be five feet and two inches (or metric equivalent) tall.
I think I’ve settled on debut thespians, on the unknown signing up for the series and using its (inevitable) success to launch Oscar heavy careers.
Anyway, that’s me, deluded fantasy chasing writer and teller of tall tales.
Stay safe, hug those you love and tell them so every chance you get!
Go Big or Go Home
I started writing the first iterations of the Amy Grace adventures many years ago.
Version 1.0 Amy Grace: Khartoum started life sometime around 2015.
The central tale has remained unchanged; the telling has hopefully improved with each review and addition.
I now sit with Amy Grace: Payne (10.1) as the latest version of that original tall tale.
The words we can count, the hours taken to create them, at these we can only hazard a rough guess.
We’ve gone through the full range of emotions, all the highs, and a lot of lows.
Euphoria has shone at the joy of our creation, self-doubt kicked away at my heels and done its very best to try and drag me down.
Yet here we still stand.
We’ve adapted to the feedback from Beta Readers.
Chapter one was rewritten, scenes amended and some deleted.
We’ve had a developmental edit recommend changes – again most of these we’ve incorporated.
Polish polish polish… rinse and repeat.
At some point, now that I’ve firmly taken the decision to self-publish, I’m going to have to do just that.
Its not poor reviews, or indeed any negative reactions that I fear, it’s the NOT offering the very absolute most polished version of this tale to the world that worries me so…
If I fall flat on my face, then so be it, but let it not be due to poor preparation and presentation.
Titivate, titivate.
At what point do I have to just let go?
Statistics tell us that a debut novel (self-published) will sell between 100 – 250 copies.
If I continue with third party assistance (editing/formatting/cover) I will need to sell 400 to break even.
The odds are NOT in my favour.
Bugger.
Bugger, bugger, bugger.
Procrastination is indeed killing me.
Amy Grace: Payne WILL hit the world April 2026.
I will pay for a cover – it was always the plan; copy edit as best I can and then set Amy free into the big, crowded world of KDP published novels.
Maybe she’ll thrive, maybe the world wants to read the tale of a flawed heroine, who gets knocked down, but rises back to her feat every time.
Stay safe, hug those you love.
22 Pages
It sounds like it should be the title to a noir thriller, but it’s not.
In this case we are referring to the developmental edit for my book “Amy Grace: Payne”, twenty-two pages of notes, observations, suggestions and support.
Like all writers my book has been through the Beta Reader stage more times than you can shake a stick, and to be fair to all involved the feedback has been honest – supportive, at times critical, but always helpful.
The opening chapter has been completely rewritten.
It was a near universal comment that it just didn’t hit the right note. Not the subject matter, but the scenario that preceded it.
Big boy pants, rewrite – success.
Of all the parts of the book, chapter one ‘Arrival’ was the one that has been fussed over the most.
To be fair, the balance of 130,000 words stands or indeed falls on the first 1800.
Time and place, main character, inciting incident – hook to keep them reading – that’s a lot of pressure for 10-pages to deliver. But they do. Indeed, they do.
My concession to the reader has been the insertion of 430 words to explain historic context and Celtic folklore – hopefully this will aid and not deter the reader.
Scenes have been deleted in their entirety – where I’d used cruelty to indeed illustrate cruelty, I’ve now pulled back, toned it down – such passages now only to be available in the inevitable ‘collectors edition’ (LOL).
I’ve chopped a few linking scenes, trimmed back any hint of repetition and now hopefully the new version reads smoother for the reader.
I struggle with dialogue, not because I dislike it, but because (IMHO) there is a danger that it slows down the narrative and becomes unnecessary art house indulgent distraction.
So, in places summaries of the discussion are mentioned and not verbatim copies written.
Maybe it works, hopefully it works…
I have two main characters – Protagonist Amy Grace & Antagonist Thomas Payne.
At certain points they are both going in the same direction (the book is a chase movie) and I switch between them as the plot proceeds.
A critique given is that switching POV could confuse the reader – and on that one I am still deliberating.
If one is happy, the other sad, switching POV in the same chapter I hope illustrates the difference.
One is partying, the other drowning in despair…
As stated, I’m still looking as to how I can ride both horses – compare and contrast AND keep the POV singular.
It is taking me longer than I anticipated, but the notes as provided were what was needed.
And if I may I’d like to give a heartfelt shout out to (and recommendation for) Black Thoughts Editorial Services.
It’s been a long journey thus far, but it’s one I’d take again in a heartbeat.
Hug those you love, tell them, stay safe, and do your very best to remain sane!
This time next year, we’ll be millionaires!
2025 fades from view in the rear-view mirror of life.
Hopes fears and ambitions for that year history, and of no more relevance than that.
We either achieved or we did not, lessons were learnt or they were not.
Square jawed we now look into the rolling green fields of possibilities of 2026.
We have a plan.
We have a timeline to deliver such a plan.
Motion has replaced prevarication.
The omens are good, the steaming entrails favourable.
The product is near complete.
Outsourced work nearing completion – obstacles to delivery only mine to create.
In 2014 we started version 1.0 The Amy Grace Adventures – Volume 1 Khartoum.
In 2026 we will release version 8.5 Amy Grace: Payne for the world to view.
Trepidation.
Nervous.
Excited too.
Tred softly on my dreams…
Hug those you love, hug them, and tell them.
Stay safe, remain sane.
“Happy talk,
Keep talkin’ happy talk,
Talk about things you’d like to do.
You gotta have a dream;
If you don’t have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?”
“Happy Talk” (Rodgers/Hammerstein II)
Walk, don’t run!
Every journey starts with the first step:
Write a book – done.
Beta read/revise tall tale – done.
Hand script over to an editor – In process
Create book art – pending.
Publish book – pending!
2026 is the year and March the month I intend to release the initial adventures of Miss Amy Grace onto the world.
Her tale is worth reading. It has highs, it has lows, it has drama, adventure and so much more.
She is coming, and I hope you are as excited as I am.
Whatever your plans are for 2026 I wish you all the absolute best of successes.
Stay safe, remain sane, and hug those you love.
Short Stories and Shorter Attention Spans
It’s a truth, that some writers, like steam trains, take more than a few yards to really get going.
I’ve tried my hand at short stories, tales under 10,000 words, and failed at EVERY attempt.
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – this was my best attempt at a short story. I got a beginning middle and end down all under the magic number.
The story ended because we’d killed the characters – it was tragic, it was also beautiful. And then I thought to myself ‘what happens next,’ ‘what if the end is only the beginning,’ and again what was once so promising is now somewhere in its early thirties…
Not that all is indeed lost, I have once (yes just once) managed the keep the word count under 2,000 to describe A Working Man (a door-to-door psycho killer) – the joy that is Flash Fiction.
However, one swallow does not a summer make.
Point of all this?
Word counts aren’t an attempt to dumb down books for the scrolling social media generation, but they are something I struggle with.
I blether.
I add colour.
I love telling the tale, telling all of it in wonderful 4KHD, but in doing so I fall too far outside the accepted norms.
Speculative Fiction/Fantasy is the most forgiving genre – you’re allowed to pad it out to ‘world build,’ but even then, the hard stop is 120,000.
That wouldn’t be too bad if I were writing such, but I’m not.
Thrillers/Commercial Fiction, these bad boys have a limit of 90,000 with a strong preference towards 80,000.
By any estimate I’m quite possibly some 40,000 words over the limit.
It’s not an edit, it’s a cull, a murder of the innocents, a blood letting on a truly barbarous scale that is required – and I’m not the man do to do it.
Some skills I have, some I do not.
What will the editor do?
I don’t know.
He’s been employed; coin has been given.
I’ve had a colourful life thus far, but the nervous tension I feel while my work is away being edited is something new and most definitely unpleasant.
This is my first foray, and they say you always remember your first – learn a lot too.
Our timeline has the next milestone mid-January 2026 – we must wait, we must be patient and we must endure. Here we stand, we can do no other…
Stay safe, remain sane, hug those you love, tell them too.
Telling Tall Tales 