For the astute, yes that’s a Nine Inch Nails reference – but it’s also an admission of history repeating itself, of lessons that were hard learnt being acknowledged and applied.
I have pulled a thread (10,000 words) about organized child murder most foul (any other kind?) and a justified cataclysmic reaction to its discovery. I had written all of that, I had struggled for weeks upon weeks to complete that narrative, and now I’ve finally decided to delete it*!
The thread was an accidental creation that just developed a life of its own, a story that flowed from an initial idea and then became a near orgy of violence – which although well written (takes a bow), wasn’t where I wanted either myself or Amy to be.
It was a hard storyline to run with – probably because of the subject matter, and it was one that was subject to innumerable separate internal debates.
Was it a good enough story – was it sympathetic and not exploitive sadistic voyeurism?
I genuinely struggled with the subject matter, and in the end for editorial reasons I’ve decided that such cruelty will be omitted from this tale.
We did go to similar pastures in Magic – so no need to revisit such blood sodden ground.
I have obviously lost innumerable weeks and words while I’ve debated what with the benefit of hindsight was a foregone conclusion.
My heart just wasn’t in such death and sadness…
We’ve gone back to a theft and a single murder.
We haven’t’ abandoned death, we’re just not being swamped by it.
Hopefully this change will lift (a wee bit) what has been a hard tale to tell.
We have focused on the emotional, tried very hard to give due credence and space to the psychological damage that lingers long after the violence that has been suffered ends.
That is my hope, one once you read that you too share…
A man can but dream!
(*Just so you don’t worry, delete in this instance only means removed from the story and saved as a separate file for later use.)