movies

It’s three, we all know three is indeed the magic number, De La Soul told us so. Indeed, some of us with a Pythonesque bent also know that the number of ‘the counting shall be three,’ not two, nor indeed four – three is indeed the number of choice!

So it goes too with my applications.

I try to keep three plates spinning, irons in the fire, horses saddled or whatever your image of choice is – I try to keep it at three.

Some, I hear, follow the love bomb maxim, and opening the Writers & Artists Yearbook, they start at ‘A’ and ping away to all until they get to the end of ‘Z.’

As I have yet to find success with my method – I’m in no position to criticise anyone who follows an alternative – if it works, good for you.

My approach is slow.

Methodical, scrupulously catalogued and recorded, but slow.

My first application back in 2016 was a nervous affair.

I sent my pitch to one agent, just one agent and I waited, and I waited… eighty-two days later they replied with a very polite (and generic) NO.

I then went into a naval gazing tailspin of introspection and critical analysis as to why my agent of choice would say NO, I mean how could they, the project is pure brilliance…?

All scribblers must go through similar contractions, all must fight off the clinging monkey of self-doubt, all must then try and correct the imagined wrongs.

This I’ve been doing ever since.

Must be the pitch – change it.

Nope, it’s the one-page synopsis – rewrite it.

Is it the pithy biography? Not too sure – change it.

Ah, it must be the opening pages, they don’t pull you in, the burn is too slow – major rewrite completed.

Admittedly the applications I ping off now are immeasurably better than version #1 – and so they should be, but still despite the shots fired I’ve still to hit home.

Social media is littered with writers who tell of years upon years trying to succeed with their project only to be rejected/ignored time after time – yet they don’t give up, they eventually find success.

One yes is all it will take.

So, keeping the magic number at three and second guessing where each application fails, I will amend and adjust as I go.

Just one, it’s all I want, just one YES.

Stay safe – remain sane and always remind the ones that you love that you do indeed love them to the moon and back.

Okay, this missive is different.

This offering a musing on life the universe and just how long should a book be – oh, and what other books is yours (Amy Grace: Payne) like?

That’s a lot to chew.

I remember at school learning the formula for minimising the metal area of a can and maximising the volume of liquid it could hold – all very useful for maximising profit.

Books it seems follow the same rules, all be it with easier maths.

Popular consensus sits as a good work of fiction sitting somewhere between 80,000 and 90,000 words.

Padding is allowed for Sci-Fi or Fantasy novels – to allow for world building, but it is accepted ONLY under duress.

Okay, them are the rules.

So, the above in mind, what books are yours like?

Hmmm. Can’t be too pretentious, can’t offer anything obscure as nobody will get the reference, but at the same time if I compare with a known and successful book the accusation may be that I’m claiming some sort of equivalence beyond my proven abilities?

Good questions all.

Me, I’ve taken four books as reference, and I’ll briefly explain each as we go.

#1. A Falcon Flies: Wilbur Smith (176,000 words).

This is a sweeping historic drama dealing with cruelties of slavery with a strong female lead – Dr Robyn Ballantyne. We deal with dark subject matter AND a man writes with a female lead.

#2. The Alienist: Caleb Carr (152,000 words).

A good historic crime drama dealing with the unpalatable themes of child prostitution and murder. Sold by the hundredweight – as repulsive as the theme was people read and enjoyed it.

#3. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Stieg Larsson (116,000 words).

A superb noir tale with an incredibly strong female lead. We have rape, murder and torture – but still this book sold and sold and sold and sold…

#4. The Clan of the Cave Bear: Jean M. Auel (123,000 words).

A strong female protagonist who grows in self-reliance as the tale progresses. An initial offering that spawned a whole series – one woman finding her way in the world.

The keen eyed amongst you will have noted two things.

One – ALL the books come in over the (arbitrary) figure of 80-90,000 words, and ALL have very strong female characters.

Is that a chip on his shoulder?

I think it’s a bee in his bonnet!

Amy Grace: Payne comes in at 130,000 words.

It takes that many words, because that’s how many words it takes to tell the tale.

I could trim it down like a blockbuster film being shown on terrestrial TV – but we all know that these versions are never as good as the cinema showing.

To meet the 90,000-word upper limit I’d need to drop 40,000 words.

At 250 words a page, that’s some 160 pages!

That’s nearly a third of the novel…

Yes, a good editor will help to improve the brevity, highlight any duplication – but 40,000 words?!?!

What to do, what to do…

The art is good – it is.

The telling is good – it is.

The tale is at times dark – indeed it is.

There is no Disneyfication of suffering, no exploitation or trivialising of pain – there is instead honesty and heartfelt sympathy.

So, it seems I must continue to rage against the machine – continue to hope against hope that I can convince others of the merit of this told tale.

We can hope.

Down, but not out.

Hug those you love and keep them close – stay safe and remain sane!

Telling Tall Tales

(3) The Magic Number

Brevity my dear boy, brevity.