Rules. 

The are rules for comprehension – this is true, but amongst the writing fraternity the are many unwritten counterintuitive ones too. 

Many will tell you that you cannot do this, and that you absolutely must not do that.

Readers, we are told, don’t like long books, cannot read sentences longer than ten or twelve words, and most definitely bulk away from words with more than four syllables. 

These rules we are told aren’t hints and tips – no they are more serious than that, they are absolute articles of faith – heresy just won’t be tolerated.

The religious tenants stipulate that you cannot show – you must tell, oh and adverbs only with express written permission, and then only sparingly.

If your book reads anything other than as if it’s a rewrite of a Dr Zeus Green Eggs and Ham – you are indeed doomed to fail!!!

To those of the faith, those true to the (w)rite, those pure in the faith also pour scorn upon prologues – never it seems can you set the scene or add important context.

 Then we have the absolute gem around writing from a point of view that isn’t ethnically/spiritually/sexually yours – don’t do it – stay in your lane you cultural appropriating ne-er-do-well!

It does come across as peculiar that those who bang the drum for ‘authentic voice’ must never read Sci-Fi (speculative fiction), fantasy, or indeed really understand the basic concept of ‘fiction’…  but they do have a rule – and that it seems is the only thing that matters. 

Now, as with everything in life, if you step away from the zealots and avoid the chaos of true anarchy, then between the two is the happier path.

And this is the needle I try to thread.

I write long books; I have tales that are not short and pithy.  They are what they are.

I write long sentences – guilty, these I try to shorten and rewrite, but sometimes it is just what it is.

I enjoy delving into the vast ocean that is the English language and playing with the richness of its lexicon – so words can be short or long, but always it is hoped enriching the tale being told.

I show, oh do I ever show.  If the opportunity arises, we show with the unashamed and near reckless abandon, and then just to further add colour to the painted image we add adverbs with additional reckless aplomb.

Point of this missive? 

Some rules exist for a reason, some to inspire, some to influence, and some just to be ignored.

Avoid the petty, keep the aim of telling an enjoyable tale front and centre, and give the reader more credit than the rule screaming zealots.

Stay safe & hug those you love!  

The fear of success (achievemephobia)

It’s a weird one, but it’s one I think many a hacker of stories and teller of tall tales struggles with.

What if, despite our expectations, the book is both liked and successful?

Where to then?

How would we square that circle?

Not one that I must struggle with – but it is one that haunts me.

What if after all the years of struggle, the dark cold nights of the soul where everything has been questioned, what if after all that my book does okay and people like it?

Weird isn’t it.

Fear of success normally succumbs to self-sabotage or an over inflated case of imposter syndrome – but what if this time it doesn’t?

In a world full of real problems – this one is mine.

Writers are such melodramatic types.

Hug those you love, put perspective on your worries and whenever possible smile at the world and enjoy the ride that is life.

Progress.

So, I’ve written the elusive novel that we all have inside ourselves.

I’ve written that novel, the sequel, the one after that, and then scribbled volume four.   

Half a million or so words taking a young twenty-two-year-old woman from Dromahair County Leitrim, taken her around the world, through deserts and across vast mountain ranges. 

Amy’s flown through thunderstorms, danced with lightning, had gunfights, swordfights tweaked the nose of many an assailant.

She’s done this in Egypt, The Sudan, India, Canada, North America, before finally coming back to Ireland as a 29-year-old whose heart has been broken too many times.

She’s danced with those she loved, lost them too. 

Revenge and vengeance have driven her; magic and a gossiping fairy accompanied her.

Evil men, cruel men, truly sadistic men have cut her, tried to kill her, imprisoned her and stolen her child from her, but by her own hand all who have stood against her have died.

Her story has been written.

The tales of her adventures neatly typed up.

Typo’s, run on sentences that go on and on and on, these where we’ve noticed them, these have been corrected.

Scenes have been polished, the superfluous removed, the remaining tied tighter than a drumskin.

It flows.

No gaps exist, no whatever happened to such and such left unanswered, the beginning meets the middle, and the middle neatly flows to the ending.

I love her tale, her adventures, her journey.

They have merit, and so I’m backing myself and self-publishing.

I looking to unleash Miss Amy Grace unto the world Q1 2026.

Pennies have been saved, the services of an exceptional editor booked, ideas for the cover confirmed.

The best possible version is coming soon, and with the clock ticking so too is your chance to be swept away by five feet and two inches of fierce determination under a crown of flame red hair getting ever closer.

She is worth the wait.

I’m excited.

You should be too!

Coming early 2026 – Amy Grace: Payne

Pull them in and keep them turning the page!

That is the dream of every writer.

Every teller of tall tales struggles with that concept – the delivery such a subtle art.

Some argue over the power of the opening line – is it the critical event between reader and writer, is it the tantalising appetiser that will keep the reader coming back for more and more and more?

Can a few lines of our scripted prose keep them hooked?

Can an opening line deliver the whole book from page one?

It’s true that my favourite opening line is from an author I’m not really a fan of – I love his stories, just not his style. 

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”

However, for this opening line, Mr Charles Dickens – Tale of Two Cities – take a bow.

This prose has so much going for it, yet it’s also one that today I’m sure would be broken up and lose its magic. 

Who today would get away with a 119-word sentence?

It tells us so little of the time and place, and yet at the same time (with a little thought) it tells us so very much. 

And that is the genius of such prose, it doesn’t talk down to the reader, there is no spoon feeding of anything, your ability to follow the story is taken for granted – and so the opening line works and works so very well.

So, how do you emulate this?

Me, I’ve tried and tried again and again to get the hook suitably baited – for the opening line to be a true aperitif of what is to come.

With Amy Grace and her opening adventure, I tried to set the time (late 1800’s), location – a train from Alexandria to Cario and then a small introduction of peril insofar as the train has broken down. 

“Railways were synonymous with punctuality; they were an accepted byword for engineered Victorian efficiency.  Yet Amy sat motionless in the afternoon heat, in a broken-down train, somewhere between Alexandria and Cairo.  The intended three hours of travel would eventually draw out to become several long boring and uncomfortable ones.” 

Did/does it work – I hope so.

My latest work in progress is a little novel called ‘HIM’, a tale of a man waking up in prison and trying to find his identity. 

“So little liquid, so much potential compressed into it.  It had gone cold, but he still sipped absentmindedly at his expresso.  People came; people went.  Life’s rich tapestry was a slowly changing tableau to his front. He watched but followed little.  He should have been paying rapt attention, but he wasn’t.   He was a middle-aged man in a nondescript jacket and open neck shirt relaxing in a Sardinian pavement café drinking coffee.  He was sat alone, which for this café was unusual, he also had no open laptop, newspaper, or mobile phone competing for his attention, and that if noticed would have struck any viewer as approaching strange.  But nobody appeared to paying attention to anything.  Everything was slow, mañana personified.  The sun was lazily sinking into the sea, the fishing boats half-heartedly bobbing with the lackadaisical tide, even the evening breeze moved with all the speed of a sulking teenager. 

When the guns exploded and the tables were tipped over and the screaming and scattering of feet began, it was all too quick, too out of place for people comfortably slowing into the evening to comprehend.  Light travels faster than sound, but it was sound that dominated everything. 

Blood stained the pale stone pavement, screams of alarm startled the seagulls into flight, while the dead body repulsed the living who pulled themselves in the opposite direction, any direction that was away from the man whose life was spilling into the Romanesque cobbles.

All moved away less one man. 

He didn’t move because he was the designated dead man.”

Does it work?

Again, I hope so.

I hope the reader can taste the story that is to come and that the way that it is written is both acceptable and pleasing to the palate.

Time will tell.

While I obsess on the trivial, worry about the placing of this comma and description (show don’t tell) of that thing, while I do these things, be kind to each other, hug those you love and tell them so.